Thoughts at 30...

I remember being younger and thinking about the people I knew who were 30—gosh they were old! They seemed like such adults with their whole lives neatly packaged. I remember thinking about what life would be like when I turned 30. I’d have a house, car, husband, kids—I had it all planned out. I’d be Barbie in my dream mansion with Ken by my side driving my pink Corvette. Well, life never quite turns out the way we planned. As my life has crept closer to this daunting number of 30 over the past few years, there have been times where life has hit me with negativity as I realize how that childhood dream is nowhere near a reality. However, I’ve also had a huge revelation that that’s ok. Over the past couple months, I’ve really been processing what it means for me to turn 30 and the stage of life I am in, so here are my 7 lessons I’ve learned in my 30 years that I’m happy to share with you. Enjoy! 

1. Be proud of who you are and who God created you to be. When I was in my teens and twenties, I was very insecure. Boys not liking me, negative body image issues, and constant comments about my loud and obnoxious personality haunted me. I was constantly looking to those around me for validation, leading to some lifestyle choices that were not in my best interest. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to a point where I am so thankful to be the person God created me to be. I’ve realized that those same insecurities I was so worried about when I was younger have turned out to be the qualities I love the most and bring me the most joy. Now, I’m so thankful for my loud and obnoxious personality because I’m able to use it to serve God every day and bring that same joy to those around me through my teaching, doing live announcements and singing at church, and dressing up in silly costumes for Spirit Weeks!

2. Don’t worry; be happy. Life is too short to stress! There have been very stressful situations throughout my short 30 years so far, and I used to let those situations get to me. Now, I realize I have no control over anything, but God does! I can now sit back, relax, and trust in God’s perfect plan and timing for my life without having to worry about anything!

3. Don’t judge yourself based on where society says your life should be. I’m 30, I’m unmarried, I make a measly salary, I've been on 3 dates on the past 5 years, and I am moving back in with my parents in two months—according to society, my life is pretty much bankrupt! However, when I look at my life according to God’s standards, I see a completely different view. I see a woman who knows God’s plan is way better than society’s when he says to trust his perfect timing instead of my own! I see a woman content in singleness who relies on God’s promises instead of the world’s. I see a woman who is blessed to have amazing parents to help and support her. According to society, I may be bankrupt, but in my eyes and in God’s eyes, I feel rich beyond belief!

4. Don’t just follow your heart; follow your common sense too! As I sit here thinking about where I was 10 years ago entering my twenties, I want to slap myself! I was 20 years old and naïve beyond belief as I “followed my heart” instead of following my common sense! Person after person told me not to trust the boy I was dating, and deep down I knew he was no good, but I chose to ignore all of them and ignore myself. Instead, I followed my heart for three years and gained multiple war wounds from that relationship that have taken me years to heal from. I've learned that there are times that it’s ok to listen to your heart, but you cannot forget about listening to common sense too! If we are completely run by emotions, we will find ourselves making stupid decisions time and time again instead of using our brains to think rationally. I've learned my lesson and can only hope that others can learn from my mistakes and save themselves years of heartbreak!

5. Forgive yourself and others. Do to my naivety in my twenties, it led to many stupid decisions and situations that have wounded my heart and soul to a point where I didn't know if I would be able to make it through. Being cheated on time and time again, betrayed, and even sexually assaulted have haunted me for years. I felt so much hurt and bitterness in my heart that it held me back from living life the way God intended me to. I've realized that the hurt others have caused will continue to have control over you until you forgive them. Some of those people who've hurt me took years for me to finally come to the point of forgiveness, but I can truly say I am at a point where I have forgiven every person in my life who has done me wrong, and that is freeing. Even beyond that, I have forgiven myself. Throughout the last 30 years, I've made some stupid decisions that brought me guilt and shame. I carried that weight around until finally I realized there was no need to be so tough on myself; Jesus had already died on a cross for every one of my sins and had forgiven me, so there was nothing I had done that hadn't already been taken care of. I am forgiven, and that is beyond freeing!

6. Take chances by following God’s plan. After graduating college, I thought about what next step I should take. I was in a terrible relationship where I was “in love” and thought I knew best about where life after college would lead me. I steered myself to St. Louis and steered myself even further away from God. I knew it wasn't where I was supposed to go, but I did it anyway. Fast forward to three years later when God came knocking on my heart a second time to try and guide me in the plan he had for me; this time I listened. I followed his plan and moved out to Arizona, and it has been the most rewarding experience ever. Although I miss so many of my friends from the Midwest, I have grown so much because of that move that I cannot imagine where I would be if I would have ignored God’s voice telling me to go. I realized God’s plan is always the perfect plan, even if we cannot see it!

7. Live life! We have been given this amazing life, yet I see so many people who waste it every day with negative attitudes, self-doubt, sadness, anger, bitterness, and resentment. I’m only 30, and I still have my whole life ahead of me. Instead of living a life of negativity, I choose to live my life filled with joy, happiness, love, and thankfulness, because this one life that has been given to me is a gift from God, and it’s my responsibility to handle it with care!

Thanks for humoring me in reading my life lessons. Here’s to being 30, flirty, and thriving and the next 30 years being even more amazing! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! :)